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Romney Re-launches Campaign with Coffee Table Book on Interesting Cloud Formations

In the midst of a meltdown following the worst two weeks in modern presidential campaign history, Mitt Romney experienced an epiphany Republicans hope will halt his opponent’s momentum and reboot the race.

Asked on a Florida tarmac if he was going to campaign harder, Romney gazed into the distance and remained in a trance-like state for several seconds. “Look at those clouds,” he said, shaking his head with a double-rainbow sense of wonder. “It’s beautiful.” He then pointed to the sky and said, “Look at those things.”

“It was remarkable,” explained journalist Nathan Chavez. “None of us had ever seen such a cloud. It was like he had given us the gift of that cloud.”

Romney is being credited with leading the electorate out of the valley of triviality, negativism and despair to the mountain of interesting cloud formations. “That cloud? Holy Moly,” said limousine driver Warren Crane. “That was one reality-ripping, grief-shredding puffer, let me tell you. I don’t know how he came up with it.”

Later, when pressed for a deeper interpretation of the cloud, Romney noted, “It could have been a toboggan; it could have been a seahorse. That’s what’s unique about this country. Every American can have his or her say, no matter…” Advisers interrupted Romney, so the full thrust of his idea could not be recorded for this article.

However, fans will be excited to learn that “Look at Those Things” will be available in Pottery Barns across the country. The book features quotes from the transformational optimist, such as, “Clouds equal ecstasy,” “Before bed, I ride the clouds on a sleigh drawn by eagles,” and “Sometimes I imagine myself as a cloud in the shape of the economy.”